Our Five Parties Part One

Author’s Note:
At the time of writing there was pending legislation in the Congressional to ban a certain phrase from all media and hearsay. This phrase, and its use, is the result of a subsequent ban of a particular word. There is little doubt that this new ban will be as wise and beneficial as the previous, however, this piece was written using interviews in which subjects involved, some of them, make use of this soon-to-be banned phrase. Barring any difficulties with censors, this author strongly believes that, despite the eventual ban, this writing should remain intact on the basis that it is the voice of the people of this great land; it is not only the collective thought of this country, it is the political core of our existence. The way this certain phrase is used in these interviews is only everyday and casual, no rhetoric, no anti-campaigning; it is spoken without rancor and usually employed to represent the ban itself and not the particular word.

Forward:
Initially this writing was intended as an over-view of the various similarities and differences among the local level people of our five political parties. Instead, as interview transcripts were sifted through and writing began, this project became the exposure on paper of the socio-political undercurrent, a vein if you will, of our country and its population. Despite the existence of five separate political parties, a trend toward unity among the parties emerged from the words of the people who do the grunt work. Astoundingly, the similarities between party participants outnumber the significant differences nearly two to one.
Naturally not all members match this trend toward unification and strangely almost all are vehemently and sometimes violently against it. For example, former No party member, Frank Mandel, Brooksburg, Cs., after walking out in the middle of the No party March Convention said,
--The whole Capital, party headquarters, the goddamn legislatures, every fucking political institution in this country should be burned to the fucking ground.
Obviously a man not feeling the unity, and it was last reported that Mr. Mandel was arrested after running his car through a restaurant window while screaming for a valet.
Or there is Utility member Shane Thombkins, Up, Fellbert, Bt., who says,
--Unity? Unity with what? The Utility party is the only party and everyone knows the other parties are just a blind.
Spoken like a true Utility party member. Most of these detractors are members of either the No party, which makes sense, or the Utility party, which at first seems problematic, but after further examination and an understanding of the present Utility-and-nothing-else attitude, these detractors begin to make sense. Most, not all, anti-unity citizens originate from these two parties but the noted exceptions are a little surprising: John Pinkery, Qp, Aleusha, Mb., thinks,
--What use for politics do I have? I own no multi-national, I don’t belong to an organization that can afford lobbyists, and I sure as hell don’t care who is Executive.
One’s first thought may be, ah youthful disillusionment, but Mr. Pinkery is a thirty-eight year old graphic designer who does very well for himself.
The Quiet party exception is only really surprising in that this negative sentiment was expressed at all, let alone to someone who would write it down. Now the exception from the Sanctity party is a surprise. The Sanctities are known for being very positive, however some adherents believe that the Sp doctrine of the Mutation of All Parties to One does not intend unity, but instead abolition. Kathy Ringler, Sp, Mang’s Cove, Nl.,
--If we’re going to have one party there will be no five parties to unify. Plain as that.
To be sure not all Sp’s are this obtuse, but see their party’s work as an approach to unity and the sanctification of our political landscape.
After conversing with several members from all five parties, one gets a sense of the unflagging dedication involved at all levels within the parties. These people work long hours in sometimes unpleasant conditions for no pay. This dedication operates only to further the partys’ agendas, One For All! as the Utility party motto goes. This revelation would seem to make pointless the government’s plan to make party membership mandatory. One would be hard pressed to find (outside the Fair Wells that is) a citizen that is not an active member of a party. Of course having on file an individual’s political outlook, social statistics, and personal philosophy does appear to be a sound idea, but if every citizen is already a party member, then making participation mandatory would not make much of a difference.
This endeavor should be considered as a facile probe; one that just breaks, while at the same time giving a complete view of, the surface of our political livelihood. Such things as party histories, party demographics, and funding procedures could only be vaguely included while the wealth of information exhibited herein originates from the common party members, the people in the trenches, the people who compose the very fabric of our society and is in and of itself absolutely priceless.

Our Five Parties Part Two

February 8, -
Help Party Regional Convention (and Gathering)
Rhodesville Festival Inn
Rhodesville, Pd.

Regional Delegate 115, Roger Ingsley, Hp, Cologne, Ik., is giving a closing speech to the Regional Convention and Gathering,
--Now folks, listen, we can not allow these companies to flounder the opportunity (palm smacks the side of the podium), this opportunity (palm, podium again) to help and enfranchise so many worthy, (arms outstretched, palms up) yet downtrodden people.
Mr. Ingsley returns his hands to the podium and bows his head as shouts and scattered applause rise from the gathering. Shouts of, They can’t! and How dare they! Roger Ingsley raises his head, shaking it, and goes on,
--They will not! (the auditorium becomes quiet) Because the Help party will not let them! Everyone across this land knows, even the desperate and wretched, that these corporations have money to, well frankly, burn. The Help party must target these companies, locally and nationally, target them and find the bleeding heart in the boardroom. (more cheers and applause) And if none are to be found, (Mr. Ingsley, knowing the crowd was primed for a call and response motto, raises his hands again, this time beckoning. The crowd now a chorus with Mr. Ingsley joining in) the Help party will put one there! (Mr. Ingsley repeats the exercise for full effect) And if none are to be found, (chorus) the Help party will put one there!
Mr. Ingsley steps from behind the podium, applauding the crowd, smiling, and occasionally giving little waves to the first few rows. He continues to applaud as the auditorium slowly calms to a radiant hum. Retrieving a pointer from the podium, Mr. Ingsley begins beating on a large printed list set up to his right, speaking,
--In the coming months these companies, this collection of misers, will be our targets. And if they do not comply, (he raises his pointer-hand to the audience and it responds) Boy-cott! Boy-cott! Boyyyyy-Cott! (Mr. Ingsley continues) Every single member of the Help party will avoid the products these companies manufacture and the services they provide. We will force their hands to do what is right. We’re not asking, (pointer up again and response again) we’re demanding! (Mr. Ingsley) We’re not demanding that the disenfranchised be given jobs; Lord knows they don’t want ‘em even if they were available. (the crowd adds a collective chortle and scattered applause) We’re asking for help for the government. How much has the Utility Administration done for these corporations? Now they can pay some of that back in contributions to the always ailing, usually failing Fair Well system and continue profiting from the sale of their goods and services, or have the pressure from the Help party mount and mount until they have changed their ways and aid in helping these poor, miserable people. You can do it and I can do it. (this time just a glance at the audience and another response) But we all need help! (Mr. Ingsley) We all need help! (response) Even the Help party needs help! (Mr. Ingsley begins clapping along as the party theme begins and the crowd stands for an ovation) You all can help make the Help party as effective as it can be. I had a wonderful three days, keep up the good work, and we’ll see you all in May.
The gathered crowd is clapping, singing, and dancing to the party’s aged, but still very pertinent theme song imported some thirty years ago. A few members have expressed concern that holding onto such an out-dated theme is symptomatic of their party’s perceived slide into obsolescence. Other members feel that this perception is only a textbook example of Interparty Paranoia and as Sally Inglewood, Hp, Shellsworth, Ta., said,
--Besides, how can you beat the words, ‘I need somebody, not just anybody, I need someone’? I mean the world is full of ambiguity and vagueness, and a song like this addresses that and makes a party member feel like they made a difference. In some one’s life. Anyone’s really.
This fear of being old and becoming obsolete really can be explained by inter-party posturing and positioning if one considers that the other three parties with themes (the Quiet party of course has no theme) have, in some cases radically, changed theirs, with the present trend set by the Utility and Sanctity parties of having instrumentals to open and close their conventions.
Conversely however, the No party has had the same irreverent song as their theme since long before the Help party adopted their present foreign import. To be sure, not many serious intra-party battle lines will be drawn over these songs and in a show of unity, other partys’ members have been overheard expressing their respect for the members of the Help party for having held onto tradition and sticking with their party’s charter. Joseph Rolling, Sp, Tiacia, Ad., puts it best,
--All you have to do is look at how that song, singing that particular song unites all of them.
What about being out of date?
--I don’t even know what that means. No one, no thing, and especially no party is out of date. They have members. Hell they add members every year just like the rest of the parties. The Help party is fine, and I think they should keep their old pop tune as a theme.
And Cory Tillerman, Up, Collins, Dk., states,
--I think it’s cute. My mom was into those guys so I grew up with that song. I say they should keep it, so what if the other parties change theirs. It’s cute.

Our Five Parties Part Three

April 17, --
Sanctity Southwest Convention
Dixon County Convention Center
Halen, Ot.

Theresa Singleton, Sp, Allico, Ot.,
--The thing that kinda bothers me, I had a great convention, but it kinda bothers me too, all this talk about the Utility party. Almost like there’s something they’re hinting at.
Hinting at what do you suppose?
--I don’t know, maybe they feel selling the Utility Unity Compact will get us all, all the parties, moving toward some sort of consolidation.
But isn’t that the Mutation that all Sanctities are striving for?
--See I always believed that the Mutation to One was to eliminate all parties. To unify our people so there would be no need for even one party, let alone five.
Or four if the Sanctity party merges with the Utility party.
--You got that impression too? All weekend, every speech, if you read between the lines, it seems like that’s what their saying.
Excepting the pro-activeness of its members, the Sanctity party does not really differ from the other Conglomerate parties (The other two being the Utility and Help parties). The members are generally of the same class and background, but their mission, to sanctify every aspect of our public lives and their collective drive set them apart. The sanctity they strive for is more or less a government enforced consolidation for education, taxation, representation, occupation, restitution, law enforcement, warfare, class politics, entertainment, nourishment, sanitation, recreation, transportation, immigration, emigration, the Fair Well, sports management, communication, and worship. This party and its members envision our land free of party politics and all of us, rich and poor, falling under the always-unfurled umbrella of the Federal.
Jennifer Speer, Sp, Colquitt, Sm.,
--I think our goal is really close, in your lifetime, or at least in mine. Just in the past few years I’ve felt the parties getting closer and closer. Well, the parties that count anyway.
You mean the Conglomerate?
--Yes.
So the No and the Quiet parties don’t count?
--Yes. They’re both far too radical to matter once the parties are dissolved.
What about all the members of those parties?
--Most of ‘em are a bunch of nuts and the rest are placed there.
Placed there?
--Yeah, you know, the government transports all these people who can’t take care of themselves, you know mental patients, people in wheelchairs, and drooling to meetings and conventions just to fill those two parties out.
You don’t think these people feel their parties represent their interests in government?
--Ok. What’s the last thing major these parties have done? The last major accomplishment the No party performed was having their top three members indicted on conspiracy changes in those railroad bombings. And what, the Quiet party was reprimanded for hiring too many Utility politicians to do its work.
So you think that the present existence of the non-Conglomerate parties is all a blind.
--Yes I do.
You sound like a Utility.
--Yes, I know.

Our Five Parties Part Four

June 16, --
Quiet Party Headquarters
Ashton Circle Festival Inn
Ashton Downs, Mc.

Joseph Pepperton, Qp, Sonsville, Cn., is the only readily available member of the Quiet party. By virtue of their personalities, and maybe party doctrine, the Q’s have no meetings, conventions, or functions of any kind. Reciprocal electronic mail between members constitutes a major summit. This then explains Mr. Pepperton’s harried existence. This ever mumbling man resides over (and with) all the party’s activities electronically, through the mail, and, when pressed, telephonically. This year Mr. Pepperton is in Ashton Downs, Mc. in a cramped hotel room filled with computers, filing cabinets, printers, coffee pots and cups, stacks of books, and a ping pong table. Mr. Pepperton lives and works alone so I was more than curious about the last item. However, like the rest of the questions I posed, I received only a light grunt through the pencil in his teeth while he scribbled on a sheet of paper with one hand, and typed frantically at a keyboard with the other. Mr. Pepperton was allowing access to the party headquarters not to himself, so I browsed the collected mess. Among a pile of boxes I found stacks of flyers and posters that appeared to be quite old. Leafing through them I saw they were propaganda posters left over from the last Ban and Purge, forty years ago. ‘Bring Back the E-Word’ one almost shouted in still bright green letters. ‘The E-word is where we are headed’ another philosophized. And one with the familiar ape/man motif read, ‘You Can Ban the Word but Not the Process’. One may believe at first that Mr. Pepperton is in possession of materials that would instantly make him a felon. But political historians will tell that Mr. Pepperton and the Quiet party in particular are preserving a crucial part of this society’s history and development. And aside they say if no citizen sees these materials, then they are not dangerous. These posters were originally printed and hung by the old E party. When the last ban went through the whole E party charter, every speech, pamphlet, meeting minutes, and telephone conversation contained a massive amount of banned and dangerous material. After this most E members joined other parties, but a few, seemingly against their will, formed what we know today as the Quiet party. So Joseph Pepperton, the fifth party chairman in four years, is the custodian of thousands of sheets, maybe even boxes, of some of the most threatening, subversive, and corrupt thought printed in a hundred years. I received no grunt, no wave when I inquired about the posters, just real silence.
The Quiet party, in theory anyway, constitutes social and political representation for those in our country who are blocked out of normal political avenues. The homeless will head the list followed by convicted felons, ampaths, empaths, sympaths, naturists, and of course housewives under the age of sixteen. Also it should be noted that when a person succumbs and signs on to the Fair Well system they are automatically enrolled in the Quiet party and required, by law, to vote in every election.
It is this writer’s opinion that the Quiet party is a perfect example of our government working, nay striving, for unity in its political make up. Its creation made certain the bringing-back-to-the-fold of society’s socio-political stragglers. Their voices are heard and interests are very much being looked out for.

Our Five Parties Part Five

August 3, --
Utility Party Summer Conglomerate
Federal Regional Politic and Meeting Hall
Zappawski, Rg.

Thom Tompson, Up, Ripshaw, Wt., the Utility Regional Elect and Third Advisor, gave a speech to open the Summer Conglomerate that is so indicative of his party’s goals and work that it is worth quoting in its entirety:

To make or become one. To join together; to act or work together. Oneness; agreement. To make or become one. To join together, to act or work together. Oneness, agreement. One for All! These, my fellow Utility citizens, are the actual definitions of unify and unity, respectively. Oneness, agreement, to make or become one. Some people will say, ‘but these are only words’ and at the same time they will agree that these words, indeed all words, are our thoughts. Do these persons then find themselves in some sort of quandary? Can they simultaneously say that oneness and agreement are only words and admit that words are also thoughts? Of course they can. We all can, but that does not change the feeling that every citizen in this country has: this feeling that pushes them, drives them like cattle away from consolidation and back toward the chaos and practical anarchy this country has experienced in the past. To be sure these citizens are not Utility party members and may not even be Conglomerate participants, even so they are still vital resources very much needed to keep afloat our lofty, yet endangered society. Yes folks, endangered. Our near-perfect system is under attack, sometimes from all sides, by politically and socially sanctioned entities that have as their sole purpose in being the destruction of our way of life and our political livelihood. But friends the positive times of today have no place for the no sayers or the people who hold their tongues out of spite. To make or become one. Now I have another definition for you: a mixed yet unified collection. Sounds like politics doesn’t it? And maybe the reason one thinks politics when one hears the phrase, mixed collection, is because the definition can be expanded to include human social interaction, human co-habitation, human society. The Utility Unity Compact being forwarded in all branches of government is a little closer to realization because of the word linked to this definition: a mixed collection. You see it does not mean sameness. It means oneness. Agreement. To make or become one. Conglomerate. Think for a moment on a mixed collection for agreement, for oneness. Unity. Ponder if you will a mixed collection made or become one. Unify. For this, and this alone, will be the collection for protection from our enemies.

The technical flaw now apparent in our present five party system has made our differences, our virtues. Everyone sequestered in their made-to-order political havens, separating themselves from friends and neighbors and even family. Separated from others, from others that deep inside are not really that different. Separate in incestuous social groups groping blindly for blind power and each party only coming up frustrated and every party member going through their day filled with stupid, impotent rage. The Conglomerate has eased all this political pain and torture by bringing together the most rational, the most responsible parties in close conjunction with the Federal and the Executive. The Utility party, in over seeing the operations of these two branches of government, has brought about the most courageous and most advantageous of all political revolutions.

The House of Incongruity could be a name for the Congressional in its present state, but a positive minded Utility, I am sure, can see this last branch, not as a mixed bag of rocks, but as the cataclastic aggregate it should be. We should all envision the Congressional as the largest, most complex, most innately beautiful monolith of marble. Thousands of smaller pieces kept under immense pressure for eons until it is the splendid, impenetrable stone we envision today. Impenetrable indeed, yet with the people’s help a mirror shine could be brought to the surface of this slab, deeply reflecting in it the flowing stretches of farmland, the rushing meandering rivers, the towering majestic mountains, the sanguine strands and beaches, the vast miles of forests, the vital and exuberant cities, and the white and blue all encompassing sky of this great land of ours.
The only thing the Utility party and the government ever want to say to anyone is, ‘yes’. Citizens, it’s simple, a simple ‘yes’. For if everyone remains aware of and obsessed with our differences, the only thing we will ever say to one another will be ‘no’. How civilized can a society be when its citizens, walking through their days in a stupor of doubt, can only ever say ‘no’ to their fellow citizens? Now you can’t necessarily hear them say it out loud, but all you have to do is look in their faces, read there what is happening behind their eyes. A shroud of distrust has blanketed their brains so that what they do see of the world around them comes to them through a screen, a web, a filter of negativity. This ‘no’, this negativity can be connected to an apposite correlative that is surprising and has a wonderful story. One hundred and twenty years ago there was a steam paddle boat that made day trips from the delta, up-river to the springs and campgrounds, and back again. This boat must have been gorgeous in its time. Despite rather loose local over-sight, this riverboat remained a top quality specimen for years, faithfully making her daily runs up and down the river, season after season. Now we all know machines, their fickleness, and we all know that machines back then were just as particular as they are today. On this splendid boat’s last run, I’m told it was a beautiful early spring day and the boat was filled to capacity with vacationers and working people alike. This day was also special because a local grade school was having its annual spring day trip and picnic. Shortly after leaving its dock, the boat, as machines tend to do, developed a fire. This fire then spread very quickly through the crowded craft sending throngs of panicked passengers to the lifejacket racks. One can imagine the fear and chaos as people, adults and children were shoved into lifejackets and hastily thrown over the side to the quenching river only to find that for years the aging cork that filled these jackets had been neglected and consequently had turned to dust. Anyone wearing one of these cork dust lifejackets in the water found out very quickly that cork dust, when wet, will float very much like concrete and give the wearer the total and complete opposite of buoyancy.

Our ‘no’ that we say not aloud, but to ourselves and silently to everyone around us, can be expressed perfectly in the overlooked and neglected cork in those so-called lifejackets. When we feel safest and most at ease is when something in our system will go wrong. And when it does, we will all rush to our security, our saviors, our lifejackets, and thinking we are saved, we all jump to the safety of the river only to find that negativity filling, not only ourselves, friends, and family, but filling our political parties, filling our government institutions, and filling our security, our saviors, our lifejackets. Citizens do not be dragged to the bottom, contact your Legislator, convince them that you know the right course, convince them to go forward with the Utility Unity Compact; the Congressional is our last hurdle. The negative is our enemy and disarray will be our downfall. Have a great weekend folks, and One For All!
(and thus the historic Utility Party Summer Conglomerate was kicked-off after a rousing ‘One For All’)