Our Five Parties Part Two

February 8, -
Help Party Regional Convention (and Gathering)
Rhodesville Festival Inn
Rhodesville, Pd.

Regional Delegate 115, Roger Ingsley, Hp, Cologne, Ik., is giving a closing speech to the Regional Convention and Gathering,
--Now folks, listen, we can not allow these companies to flounder the opportunity (palm smacks the side of the podium), this opportunity (palm, podium again) to help and enfranchise so many worthy, (arms outstretched, palms up) yet downtrodden people.
Mr. Ingsley returns his hands to the podium and bows his head as shouts and scattered applause rise from the gathering. Shouts of, They can’t! and How dare they! Roger Ingsley raises his head, shaking it, and goes on,
--They will not! (the auditorium becomes quiet) Because the Help party will not let them! Everyone across this land knows, even the desperate and wretched, that these corporations have money to, well frankly, burn. The Help party must target these companies, locally and nationally, target them and find the bleeding heart in the boardroom. (more cheers and applause) And if none are to be found, (Mr. Ingsley, knowing the crowd was primed for a call and response motto, raises his hands again, this time beckoning. The crowd now a chorus with Mr. Ingsley joining in) the Help party will put one there! (Mr. Ingsley repeats the exercise for full effect) And if none are to be found, (chorus) the Help party will put one there!
Mr. Ingsley steps from behind the podium, applauding the crowd, smiling, and occasionally giving little waves to the first few rows. He continues to applaud as the auditorium slowly calms to a radiant hum. Retrieving a pointer from the podium, Mr. Ingsley begins beating on a large printed list set up to his right, speaking,
--In the coming months these companies, this collection of misers, will be our targets. And if they do not comply, (he raises his pointer-hand to the audience and it responds) Boy-cott! Boy-cott! Boyyyyy-Cott! (Mr. Ingsley continues) Every single member of the Help party will avoid the products these companies manufacture and the services they provide. We will force their hands to do what is right. We’re not asking, (pointer up again and response again) we’re demanding! (Mr. Ingsley) We’re not demanding that the disenfranchised be given jobs; Lord knows they don’t want ‘em even if they were available. (the crowd adds a collective chortle and scattered applause) We’re asking for help for the government. How much has the Utility Administration done for these corporations? Now they can pay some of that back in contributions to the always ailing, usually failing Fair Well system and continue profiting from the sale of their goods and services, or have the pressure from the Help party mount and mount until they have changed their ways and aid in helping these poor, miserable people. You can do it and I can do it. (this time just a glance at the audience and another response) But we all need help! (Mr. Ingsley) We all need help! (response) Even the Help party needs help! (Mr. Ingsley begins clapping along as the party theme begins and the crowd stands for an ovation) You all can help make the Help party as effective as it can be. I had a wonderful three days, keep up the good work, and we’ll see you all in May.
The gathered crowd is clapping, singing, and dancing to the party’s aged, but still very pertinent theme song imported some thirty years ago. A few members have expressed concern that holding onto such an out-dated theme is symptomatic of their party’s perceived slide into obsolescence. Other members feel that this perception is only a textbook example of Interparty Paranoia and as Sally Inglewood, Hp, Shellsworth, Ta., said,
--Besides, how can you beat the words, ‘I need somebody, not just anybody, I need someone’? I mean the world is full of ambiguity and vagueness, and a song like this addresses that and makes a party member feel like they made a difference. In some one’s life. Anyone’s really.
This fear of being old and becoming obsolete really can be explained by inter-party posturing and positioning if one considers that the other three parties with themes (the Quiet party of course has no theme) have, in some cases radically, changed theirs, with the present trend set by the Utility and Sanctity parties of having instrumentals to open and close their conventions.
Conversely however, the No party has had the same irreverent song as their theme since long before the Help party adopted their present foreign import. To be sure, not many serious intra-party battle lines will be drawn over these songs and in a show of unity, other partys’ members have been overheard expressing their respect for the members of the Help party for having held onto tradition and sticking with their party’s charter. Joseph Rolling, Sp, Tiacia, Ad., puts it best,
--All you have to do is look at how that song, singing that particular song unites all of them.
What about being out of date?
--I don’t even know what that means. No one, no thing, and especially no party is out of date. They have members. Hell they add members every year just like the rest of the parties. The Help party is fine, and I think they should keep their old pop tune as a theme.
And Cory Tillerman, Up, Collins, Dk., states,
--I think it’s cute. My mom was into those guys so I grew up with that song. I say they should keep it, so what if the other parties change theirs. It’s cute.